These are chaotic times. Tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, the craving for protection and security has created an epidemic of CONTROL CRAZE. As chaos-frazzled Mel Gibson once said, “It’s all happening too fast. I’ve got to put the brakes on or I’ll smack into something.”
Already insecure from the economic downturn, we dig in deeper for the refuges of hearth and livelihood. Chaos makes us hunger for power and order. Being in control gives us a false sense of dominance, makes us feel important and needed. It masks our apprehensions and gives us a game plan.
Natural disasters aside, have you stopped to realize how being a control freak impacts those around you? The more challenging the situation, the tighter our grip. The greater our fear of loss, the faster we hustle to grab and protect what’s ours.
You likely believe you’re doing the right thing by trying to maintain status quo caring for the health and well-being of your company, co-workers, family and friends. Chances are your heart is in the right place. But…. Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak, (President John Adams). SURPRISE! It can quickly sour into arrogance, superiority and a nasty, inflated, over-used ego. My definition of EGO = Edging God Out. You are doing no one any favors, least of all yourself. It’s a hard lesson to learn.
Chrissy Scivicque, (Are You a Control Freak?) spells out the dangers:
“It (control) can seriously damage your relationships. Think about it: When you try to control every situation, even if it’s not your intention, others start to worry that you don’t trust them. They also get sick of following your lead. You may notice friends and family starting to pull away from you, getting irritated or exasperated. Or perhaps they’ve simply given up and accepted you’re the one who gets control. That’s not really fair to them and, ultimately, they could end up resenting you for it.
It can cause you an extraordinary amount of emotional, mental and physical stress. And most of the time, it’s completely unnecessary! When we always feel like we have to be in control of the world around us every second of every day, we’re adding a tremendous amount of pressure to our lives. We do it to ourselves and it’s just not healthy.”
Picture your hands firmly closed and white-knuckled around whatever it is you are holding on to so tightly that you simply cannot bear to let it go. Your fingers are pointing towards YOU. There is no light or air in your closed fists, no life, and no possibility of RECEIVING anything…..unless, of course, you open your hands, turn your palms up and surrender control and ego…and then trust. “The bird of paradise alights only on the hand that does not grasp,” John Berry.
What makes you believe you’re the best at everything? How can you GIVE from the position of a death-grip? Is it REALLY so bad to ask for help, for the opinion and aid of others and then RECEIVE it? Isn’t service with and for others what sustains our world?
“The most exquisite paradox: as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible,” (Ram Dass).
Sound crazy? JUST DO IT! Relinquish your stronghold on everything and everybody for one week. The sun will come up. The world will still turn and you’ll be pleasantly astonished and blessed beyond control!
~From the desk of Becky Morlok~Share with a Friend or Colleague